Concentric Counselling
0
ConcentricCounsellingLogo.jpg

Journal

 

welcome to the concentric journal

 
Featured
Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story

When people come to Concentric Counselling with a history of bingeing, they are often surprised that one of the first things I ask them is how often they restrict their food intake. To them, they are coming because the issue is bingeing. But what continues to reveal itself in the therapy room is that for many people that struggle with bingeing these episodes punctuate long periods of restriction.

The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations
The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations

Let me share with you some more details of the exciting model that I’ve been developing. Called Body Collaboration, it has emerged from my practice over the last ten years, a compassionate response to clients sharing a persistent issue - ‘I’m trying to hate myself into being ok with myself’. Body Collaboration is a pushback to a kyriarchal culture that teaches us to admonish ourselves rather than accept ourselves. It’s a radical practice of gathering in the most abandoned parts of ourselves, and offering them healing. And it’s a lovesong to what I think is the most powerful thing on Earth – partnership, collaboration, working together for the good of the all.

Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery
Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery

I often meet clients when they're in a particular spot... they’ve turned their back on intentional weight loss, knowing that going back into that way of life will only cause harm and open them up to risk. At the same time, they don't know how to transition into a space of body acceptance, knowing that there will also be loss in that decision.

From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions
From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions

In my corner of the world, we talk a lot about anti-fat bias or fatphobia and, more broadly, how it is to live in a body that is marginalised by dominant culture – through race, gender and sex, body size or shape, or disability.

Sometimes our conversations about anti-fat bias can take on a very theoretical and abstract form – as a systemic issue, of course we often look at it through a wide-angle lens. More recently, though, I’ve been thinking more and more of the individual impact of anti-fat bias – what it really means to live in a fatphobic culture.

Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips
Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips

Overwhelm and burnout don’t just happen in Covid times – these are themes I’ve been working for since the very beginning of my counselling career. It’s when our nervous system becomes overloaded, and we really struggle to regulate ourselves; feeling either anxious and agitated, or zoned out and flat.

Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More
Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More

For those of you who follow me on Instagram or subscribe to my mailing list you will know that I have been building towards a space for therapists to come together and connect. I’m so happy today to be able to outline this a little more, and introduce this idea to you.

Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back
Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back

We're in an ebb season, collectively, I think. And we're not encouraged to think about this at all. The effects of the pandemic, here in the UK, have been upon us for eleven months. And what’s been so surprising is how little accommodation we will often make for this. We’re living in a global tragedy – a collective trauma. Life has, necessarily, had to recede. We have had to lean hard on our internal resources – our patience, our hope, our tenacity. Understandably, we’re feeling a little depleted.

Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 
Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 

The relentless treadmill of diet resolutions is about to crank itself up again, at the start of the new year. After all the festive food adverts, Boxing Day onwards will see the focus shift instead to weight loss programmes, diet foods and new ‘healthy eating’ cookbooks, sold to you by slim people. It is a predictable, exhausting cycle, which perpetuates unhealthy ‘all or nothing’ thinking, and punishing and unsustainable restriction.

A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance
A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance

And so begins December, the month where dominant culture tends to deep-slide into a clarion call for ‘indulgence’ before, as regular as clockwork, the adverts and articles that promise ‘new year, new you’. Christmas is an exaggerated example of the pendulum swing that diet culture encourages; ricocheting between too much and not enough – all governed by a deep fear that we ourselves are not enough.

The emotional benefits of touch

In counselling, we work more implicitly with the body - touch isn't involved, although we still consider mindbodyspirit as an integrated system, and be aware of the clues our body gives us as to our emotional state. Historically, we have tended towards a false disconnection between our body, mind and spirit, but we don't carry our emotions round in a little bag - emotions are held in our bodies, as well as our hearts and mind, and they can be released through our bodies as well.

It's important to maintain safety and boundaries and so, in counselling, we incorporate the body through awareness - how your emotions might be manifesting in your body; how we can look after your body to improve your emotional and mental health; using awareness and self-compassion to enjoy a good, connected relationship with yourself. We can also use mindfulness body exercises to connect more with ourselves, and make connections between your emotions and physical sensations. 

Of course, what is missing then is the element of touch, which is a potent way of connecting with both ourselves and with other people. From our infancy, we need touch to thrive; it is vital for healthy human development. Skin to skin contact, breastfeeding and babywearing have all been shown to have multiple benefits in supporting a good attachment, and are all linked to improved physical, emotional and mental health. Touch releases oxytocin, the hormone of closeness and connection, and generally generates a feeling of trust, calm and safety - as important a feeling in adulthood as it is in infancy and childhood.

As adults, we still need touch; specifically, consensual non-sexual human touch, to maintain a healthy relationship with ourselves and the world. In a world increasingly focused on technology and individualist pursuits, we need to make sure we get our quota. A hug with a family member, a loving kiss with a partner, or a friendly pat on the back - these are all ways in which we can harness the power of touch for a little boost to our general wellbeing. There is direct evidence to show that oxytocin release helps provide immunity against depression, anxiety and stress. As I say about counselling, we heal in connection with others. 

Touch can be a powerful way of re-establishing a sense of calm and comfort within ourselves, and incorporating consensual, non-sexual touch into our self care routine can be helpful. Snuggling with loved ones whilst watching a film, brushing a friend's arm in conversation, or finding a trusted bodyworker, such as a massage therapist or osteopath, are all ways to include touch into our routine. And animals count as well - contact with animals has huge therapeutic benefit! Even something as simple as ensuring our clothes are comfortable can have a great impact on our sense of wellbeing - restrictive collars, tight waistbands, and synthetic non-breathable fabric can all impact our sense of calm. Feeling the breeze or sunlight on bare skin can have significant holistic benefits.

It's important to recognise our own limitations, and to keep ourselves safe, particularly when we may have previously received unwelcome or unsafe touch in the past, and of course there is no one-size-fits-all rule to how much touch we need. Consent is vital, and respecting other people's physical boundaries is important. Similarly, knowing our own physical boundaries is important. Touch can be triggering for some people, and for some people it's simply not enjoyable; in those instances, other way of connecting may feel more appropriate. Even for those who are comfortable with touch, we must recognise the powerful effect of this form of contact. In recognising the importance of physical contact, we must also recognise its power; intimate physical contact, such as massage or osteopathy, or even sex, can leave us feeling vulnerable and exposed and at those times we need to take care of ourselves and take it easy - give yourself a little time and space before any physical or emotional heavy lifting.

If you are find physical intimacy stressful or overwhelming, and you believe that counselling might help, do please contact me on 07419 190930 or hello@concentriccounselling.com. It may also be beneficial to discuss touch aversion with a GP, who would be able to rule out any medical cause.

The Walled Nursery, BodyworkVicky Bellmanmassage, emotions, Woodstock Holistics, holistic care, self care, wellbeing, bodywork, oxytocin