Concentric Counselling
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welcome to the concentric journal

 
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Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story

When people come to Concentric Counselling with a history of bingeing, they are often surprised that one of the first things I ask them is how often they restrict their food intake. To them, they are coming because the issue is bingeing. But what continues to reveal itself in the therapy room is that for many people that struggle with bingeing these episodes punctuate long periods of restriction.

The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations
The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations

Let me share with you some more details of the exciting model that I’ve been developing. Called Body Collaboration, it has emerged from my practice over the last ten years, a compassionate response to clients sharing a persistent issue - ‘I’m trying to hate myself into being ok with myself’. Body Collaboration is a pushback to a kyriarchal culture that teaches us to admonish ourselves rather than accept ourselves. It’s a radical practice of gathering in the most abandoned parts of ourselves, and offering them healing. And it’s a lovesong to what I think is the most powerful thing on Earth – partnership, collaboration, working together for the good of the all.

Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery
Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery

I often meet clients when they're in a particular spot... they’ve turned their back on intentional weight loss, knowing that going back into that way of life will only cause harm and open them up to risk. At the same time, they don't know how to transition into a space of body acceptance, knowing that there will also be loss in that decision.

From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions
From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions

In my corner of the world, we talk a lot about anti-fat bias or fatphobia and, more broadly, how it is to live in a body that is marginalised by dominant culture – through race, gender and sex, body size or shape, or disability.

Sometimes our conversations about anti-fat bias can take on a very theoretical and abstract form – as a systemic issue, of course we often look at it through a wide-angle lens. More recently, though, I’ve been thinking more and more of the individual impact of anti-fat bias – what it really means to live in a fatphobic culture.

Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips
Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips

Overwhelm and burnout don’t just happen in Covid times – these are themes I’ve been working for since the very beginning of my counselling career. It’s when our nervous system becomes overloaded, and we really struggle to regulate ourselves; feeling either anxious and agitated, or zoned out and flat.

Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More
Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More

For those of you who follow me on Instagram or subscribe to my mailing list you will know that I have been building towards a space for therapists to come together and connect. I’m so happy today to be able to outline this a little more, and introduce this idea to you.

Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back
Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back

We're in an ebb season, collectively, I think. And we're not encouraged to think about this at all. The effects of the pandemic, here in the UK, have been upon us for eleven months. And what’s been so surprising is how little accommodation we will often make for this. We’re living in a global tragedy – a collective trauma. Life has, necessarily, had to recede. We have had to lean hard on our internal resources – our patience, our hope, our tenacity. Understandably, we’re feeling a little depleted.

Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 
Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 

The relentless treadmill of diet resolutions is about to crank itself up again, at the start of the new year. After all the festive food adverts, Boxing Day onwards will see the focus shift instead to weight loss programmes, diet foods and new ‘healthy eating’ cookbooks, sold to you by slim people. It is a predictable, exhausting cycle, which perpetuates unhealthy ‘all or nothing’ thinking, and punishing and unsustainable restriction.

A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance
A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance

And so begins December, the month where dominant culture tends to deep-slide into a clarion call for ‘indulgence’ before, as regular as clockwork, the adverts and articles that promise ‘new year, new you’. Christmas is an exaggerated example of the pendulum swing that diet culture encourages; ricocheting between too much and not enough – all governed by a deep fear that we ourselves are not enough.

What recovery restores... core wisdom

It’s Eating Disorder Awareness Week 2020 here in the UK, and I’ve wanted to write a series of articles, holding hope for all that recovery can restore. Yesterday, I wrote about how recovery can help restore our sense of self, and today I want to talk about how recovery can restore…

core wisdom

Our systems - our body, brain, mind, nervous system and soul - are self righting; meaning, our own system wants the best of us, and will look for opportunities to balance out, as much as possible. So much of this is done out of our awareness - we are only conscious of a small percentage of the processes that our system undertakes. We have to trust that, inside ourselves, our bodies know what they’re doing - that they’re operating as they are supposed to, and usually without our intervention or manipulation.

Disordered eating interrupts our deep inner wisdom - it distorts our perception of food and makes it a source of fear. So, in an attempt to control this, we try to suppress one of our most basic instincts - our instinct to take on nourishment, to sustain ourselves through food. And when we suppress and distort one area of basic function and wisdom, it can knock our other perceptions off track. That’s one of the reasons we might notice an impact on our home life, our relationships and our work life - one of those foundational bricks of wellbeing - eating - has become wobbly.

When we reestablish our belief in our body to take care of us - to eat what it needs, and stop eating when it needs to, and to have innate control over this process that doesn’t need to be forced or manipulated, we begin to reconnect with our core wisdom - our intuition.

neutrality

Recovery allows us to see hunger for what it is - one of a series of neutral body cues, just like needing to pee or needing to sleep. Working on neutrality towards hunger is a process, but one that is rewarding - in time, being able to see hunger simply as a cue for a need. It’s the body working to right itself, and that’s a good and reliable wisdom.

trust

When we trust our body to take care of these basic physiological needs, it frees us up to build on to these foundations, and pursue the other stuff that makes life satisfying. Recovery restored, we are able to reconnect with our instincts in our higher needs and desires - intimate connections with supportive people, the pursuit of purpose, satisfaction in work and studies, good boundaries and good self care. Recovery restores our core wisdom, providing us with a solid platform from which we can jump into a life rich with meaning.

This article isn't a substitute for counselling, although I do hope it helps. If you this article has resonated with you, consider seeking professional support. You can work with me in London, Kent or online, by contacting me at hello@concentriccounselling.com or 07419 190930.

Atypical eating disorders, Diet culture recovery, Disordered eating, Eating Disorder Awareness Week, Eating disorder recovery, Food, Health At Every Size, Intuitive EatingVicky Bellmaneating disorders, eating, atypical eating disorders, body positivity, body image, chronic dieting, disordered eating, diet culture recovery, diet culture, edaw20, foodComment