Concentric Counselling
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welcome to the concentric journal

 
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Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story

When people come to Concentric Counselling with a history of bingeing, they are often surprised that one of the first things I ask them is how often they restrict their food intake. To them, they are coming because the issue is bingeing. But what continues to reveal itself in the therapy room is that for many people that struggle with bingeing these episodes punctuate long periods of restriction.

The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations
The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations

Let me share with you some more details of the exciting model that I’ve been developing. Called Body Collaboration, it has emerged from my practice over the last ten years, a compassionate response to clients sharing a persistent issue - ‘I’m trying to hate myself into being ok with myself’. Body Collaboration is a pushback to a kyriarchal culture that teaches us to admonish ourselves rather than accept ourselves. It’s a radical practice of gathering in the most abandoned parts of ourselves, and offering them healing. And it’s a lovesong to what I think is the most powerful thing on Earth – partnership, collaboration, working together for the good of the all.

Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery
Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery

I often meet clients when they're in a particular spot... they’ve turned their back on intentional weight loss, knowing that going back into that way of life will only cause harm and open them up to risk. At the same time, they don't know how to transition into a space of body acceptance, knowing that there will also be loss in that decision.

From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions
From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions

In my corner of the world, we talk a lot about anti-fat bias or fatphobia and, more broadly, how it is to live in a body that is marginalised by dominant culture – through race, gender and sex, body size or shape, or disability.

Sometimes our conversations about anti-fat bias can take on a very theoretical and abstract form – as a systemic issue, of course we often look at it through a wide-angle lens. More recently, though, I’ve been thinking more and more of the individual impact of anti-fat bias – what it really means to live in a fatphobic culture.

Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips
Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips

Overwhelm and burnout don’t just happen in Covid times – these are themes I’ve been working for since the very beginning of my counselling career. It’s when our nervous system becomes overloaded, and we really struggle to regulate ourselves; feeling either anxious and agitated, or zoned out and flat.

Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More
Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More

For those of you who follow me on Instagram or subscribe to my mailing list you will know that I have been building towards a space for therapists to come together and connect. I’m so happy today to be able to outline this a little more, and introduce this idea to you.

Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back
Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back

We're in an ebb season, collectively, I think. And we're not encouraged to think about this at all. The effects of the pandemic, here in the UK, have been upon us for eleven months. And what’s been so surprising is how little accommodation we will often make for this. We’re living in a global tragedy – a collective trauma. Life has, necessarily, had to recede. We have had to lean hard on our internal resources – our patience, our hope, our tenacity. Understandably, we’re feeling a little depleted.

Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 
Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 

The relentless treadmill of diet resolutions is about to crank itself up again, at the start of the new year. After all the festive food adverts, Boxing Day onwards will see the focus shift instead to weight loss programmes, diet foods and new ‘healthy eating’ cookbooks, sold to you by slim people. It is a predictable, exhausting cycle, which perpetuates unhealthy ‘all or nothing’ thinking, and punishing and unsustainable restriction.

A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance
A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance

And so begins December, the month where dominant culture tends to deep-slide into a clarion call for ‘indulgence’ before, as regular as clockwork, the adverts and articles that promise ‘new year, new you’. Christmas is an exaggerated example of the pendulum swing that diet culture encourages; ricocheting between too much and not enough – all governed by a deep fear that we ourselves are not enough.

What recovery restores... connection

In the penultimate article for this week, marking Eating Disorder Awareness Week 2020, I wanted to think more about what recovery restores to us. Yesterday, I spoke about how eating disorder takes our time, shrinking our life back to its edges, and taking up all the available time and attention. Today, I wanted to continue on from that and talk about another element of life that is shrunk back, and can be restored through recovery.

recovery restores… connection

In the same way that an eating disorder is hungry for time, it is also hungry for constant attention - it demands to be your sole focus, inhibiting your relationships by virtue of taking up all the space. As you become more preoccupied with your eating disorder, you can feel lonely and isolated - feeling so defined by your current situation that you feel you have little in common anymore with your loved ones.

In a constant state of food obsession, your interactions with others can be affected - feeling more tense, strained and full of friction. When energy intake is restricted and controlled, our relationships can be tested - scarcity creates irritability and snappiness. As your eating disorder attempts to distort and disconnect you from your own body, your relationships can feel distorted and lack connection as well.

And I know just how many social occasions feel insurmountable because there will be an expectation to eat or drink, and it all feels too out of control. Disordered eating and eating disorders impact on our ability to bond with our loved ones in celebration and fun, and isolate us from the ones to whom we want to feel closest.

contact

We heal in connection with others. Throughout your recovery, working with a therapist, a dietician, and looking for ways to connect with those close to you, you can begin to intentionally allow yourself to recommit to relationships and be open. Recovery relationships eg the ones you make with your recovery team, and/or with peers in groups, give you the opportunity to reach out and be human, to make and sustain contact.

celebration

Recovery restores the opportunity to connect with the people we love - friends, family, colleagues, recovery buddies, in celebration and fun, and food freedom. When eating disorders make you feel you need constantly work to ‘achieve’ perfection and success, recovery restores the potential to connect playfully with the people you value, and enjoy the life that you deserve.

This article isn't a substitute for counselling, although I do hope it helps. If you this article has resonated with you, consider seeking professional support. You can work with me in London, Kent or online, by contacting me at hello@concentriccounselling.com or 07419 190930.

#edaw20, Atypical eating disorders, Diet culture recovery, Disordered eating, Eating Disorder Awareness Week, Eating disorder recovery, Food, Health At Every Size, Intuitive EatingVicky Bellmanatypical eating disorders, eating disorders, eating, body positivity, body image, wellbeing, Connection, chronic dieting, disordered eating, diet culture recovery, diet culture, food, Health At Every Size, Intuitive Eating, edaw20Comment